I like brunch.

July 2, 2009 2 notes

The Water Bottle Problem

I know the last two places I reviewed served the water in one big bottle and I have problems with this that I’d like to expound upon so you may have a little insight as to why it bothers me. I have two main problems with this: the water bottle takes up real estate on the table and it shirks the responsibility of the waiter off to the customer.

My problem with the water bottle taking up real estate is relative to the size, shape of the bottle and to the size, shape of the table. On a small table, that bottle is taking up space that could be used for something else. On a bar, it just looks awkward. I know what you’re going to say, “But that’s how the French and Italians do it.” Yes, it is in some of their restaurants, but this is neither Paris nor Rome. Also, it’s not high quality water that I’ve specifically ordered that we’re talking about here; it’s regular cold tap water put into a clear bottle.

My problem with the shirking of responsibility is a bit of bigger deal than the real estate issue. Your job as a waiter/waitress/bartender is to serve me, the customer. When a water bottle is placed on the table/bar it says to me, “I can’t be bothered to watch over your beverages like I’m supposed to do so why don’t you take care of it yourself.” Beverage service is a large part of the job. I shouldn’t have to stop my meal at any moment do anything other than talk, drink, and cut my food. Now, what happens if I run out of the water that was stored in the water bottle? You don’t notice, because you haven’t been paying attention to my beverage needs. Imagine walking into court after paying for a lawyer and the lawyer just slaps a stack of papers down on the table, then sits down in his chair for the remainder of the case while he says you have to defend yourself with the papers he’s prepared; you’d be livid, or probably beyond livid; I feel the same way about the water bottle. What if I’m drunk or just clumsy and I knock over the bottle? You, the waiter, have to come over and clean it up, I feel embarrassed, and we’ve both waste more time that could be spent doing something more enjoyable.

It’s just not worth it. Give me a glass of water, refill it when it looks low, and be a good waiter/waitress/bartender and I’ll tip you well. That’s all there is to it and it’s not hard.

the water bottle problem

drinks

service

brunch

July 1, 2009

Northeast Kingdom

Restaurant Information:

18 Wyckoff AveBrooklyn, NY 11237-2635
Get Directions

(718) 386-3864

- north-eastkingdom.com

Map:
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Service (6/15) or 40%

Hostess(N/A)

There was no hostess that I saw.

Promptness(2/5 points)

The bartender/waiter took my order but after that he couldn’t be bothered to follow up with anything.

Alertness(1/5 points)

On my seventh attempt to flag the bartender/waiter that was not more than two feet away from me, he finally noticed that I wanted something besides my initial order. I almost threw my fork at him. Also, this place gives you a giant bottle of water, which I is major pet peeve of mine.

Friendliness(3/5 points)

The people were just about as friendly as you’d expect.

Food and Drink (10/20) or 50%

Price(3/5 points)

I’d say the prices were fair for what you got. That being said…

Quality of Food(2/5 points)

My french toast was crunchy?!?! CRUNCHY!! @#%$#. The only thing that stopped this from getting a one point rating was the bacon; the bacon was fantastic and close to the best I’ve ever had.

Quality of Beverage(2/5 points)

The water came in a bottle that was filled with tap water and a very small glass. The coffee was so bad I thought that I had just gotten a bad cup the first time, but no, it was just bad.

Presentation(3/5 points)

The french toast looked nice until I cut into it. Everything else was just kind of slapdashed. I get the feeling that not a lot of effort is put into anything at this restaurant.

Decor and Space (11/20) or 55%

Cleanliness(3/5 points)

Everything looked as clean as you’d expect.

Theme(2/5 points)

The theme really threw me: 90% of the restaurant is a campy hunting lodge theme, but tasteful enough not to offend the hipster locals, and the 10% that makes up the wall to the kitchen looks like a bad attempt at Mondrian art.

Adequate Seating(3/5 points)

The seats were placed not too close to each other but not too far either. I saw a waiter squeeze through behind people a few times, but that’s not out of the ordinary.

Location(3/5 points)

It’s a short walk from the L stop, so not too bad. It’s a bit of a trek out this way, especially if the L isn’t running and you have to take a shuttle bus from Lorimer, which will be continuing until August.

Bonus(5 points)

No bonus points could be awarded.

Overall score: 27/55 or 49%

Back Forty

Restaurant Information:

190 Avenue BNew York, NY 10009-3600 (212) 388-1990
Get Directions

backfortynyc.com

Map:
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Service (15/20) or 75%

Hostess(5/5 points)

I don’t think I’ve ever been so impressed by a hostess. My friend had arrived shortly before I had, but the instant I got there the hostess came up to us and then asked us if we’d like to sit at a table or stay at the bar. We were then instantly seated at a table near the window.

Promptness(3/5 points)

We were served in an adequate time frame. Our main dishes came out just as our starters were being finished, but maybe a little early by a few minutes. I hurried a little through the last half of my donut, because of this, but soon those dishes were removed.

Alertness(4/5 points)

There was a very alert and attentive wait staff. At one point the hostess actually started checking on people and their coffee then went back to her normal duties when needed. I don’t think my coffee ever got below halfway empty before it was refilled again.

Friendliness(3/5 points)

I couldn’t really get a feel for the friendliness of the waiter, he was just kind of there then disappeared. He did seem a little hesitant to tell me what the jam was though, when I asked him. The hostess was super nice and I kind of wish she’d been our server.

Food and Drink (12/20) or 60%

Price(2/5 points)

I felt like it was a little more expensive than it should have been, but not by much. The three dollar cup of coffee was what sealed this as being a two instead of a three.

Quality of Food(3/5 points)

I wanted this to be better, I really did. When the biscuits came, they were tasty but complemented with butter that tasted off and a rubarb jelly that was almost flavorless. When the donuts came, they didn’t have the volume or sweetness that I would have wanted, a little brown sugar and flour could solve that easily though. Also, I wish the raspberry sauce had been served on the side as a dip instead of drizzled all over the donuts. I did love the hint of cinnamon flavor in them though and overall they were pretty good. I ordered the “Eggs Southern Style” which were good, but the gravy needed a little black pepper added for spice. They looked far better than they ended up tasting, which was disappointing. My friend ordered the shrimp and grits with side salad, which she was hesitant to do. I think she inhaled the shrimp and grits but lazily picked at the side salad.

Quality of Beverage(3/5 points)

I only had water and coffee here. The coffee was good, but not impressive. They served us water in a bottle and then let us serve ourselves, which I have an issue with always. This almost was a two, but the creative coffee mugs made it a three. The wine and beer list was notable and unexpected, though I didn’t care to use it.

Presentation(4/5 points)

Everything looked so good when it arrived at the table. I could hardly wait to take a bite. The problem with this was when I actually did take a bite.

Decor and Space (15/20) or 75%

Cleanliness(4/5 points)

I was quite impressed with how clean the dishes were. The restaurant itself also looked quite clean. I doubt you could find a dust bunny in this place if you tried.

Theme(2/5 points)

The entire time I was here I felt like there should be a plaque somewhere that said “Western Wall Theme by Ralph Lauren, available at Macy’s and other fine department stores.” Also, there was a hook for a picture to be hung on the wall exposed. To add to the confusion, they were blaring alt-rock from the 90s, which I love but it made discussion difficult.

Adequate Seating(5/5 points)

Very spacious seating arrangement with plenty of room for the servers to come and go as they pleased. I think this actually helped the service ratings a bit.

Location(4/5 points)

It’s located in the East Village and a short walk from the 1st Avenue L train. I think I gave this higher marks simply because it’s quiet enough and nice enough in the neighborhood that you don’t mind the walk.

Bonus(3/5 points)

One point for having home made donuts. One point for having home made biscuits. One point for having perfect consistency in the grits.

Overall score: 42/60, with bonus 45/60, or 75%

the water bottle problem

great hostess

June 25, 2009 4 notes

Life Cafe 983

Restaurant Information:

983 Flushing AveBrooklyn, NY 11206-4792 (718) 386-1133
Get Directions

lifecafe.com

Map:
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Service (11/15) or 73%

Hostess(N/A) (optional)

If there was a hostess, I didn’t see her.

Promptness(4/5 points)

The menu was in my hand before I even got a chance to sit down at the bar and my meal was infront of me before I finished half a cup of my coffee. There was absolutely no wait for seating.

Alertness(4/5 points)

My coffee and water stayed filled up constantly. When I ran out of cream more was brought to me with out me asking for it. The bartender/waitress even balanced out making several drinks in addition to the regular duties. She was like a hawk.

Friendliness(3/5 points)

I would say there was just about as much friendliness as I would expect, no more, no less.

Food and Drink (15/20) or 75%

Price(5/5 points)

I don’t think it’s possible for you to get more for your money than at a place like this. My waffles, two eggs, and bacon were 9$.

Quality of Food(4/5 points)

The waffle was amazing. The bacon was a little flimsy and not as tasty as I would have hoped. The eggs were, well, eggs. The home made biscuit was delicious and even better with the apple butter from the waffle.

Quality of Beverage(3/5 points)

The coffee was okay, kind of middle of the road coffee, nothing special. I didn’t have any alcoholic beverages here, but I’m curious about the cajun bloody mary.

Presentation(3/5 points)

The waffle, eggs, and bacon were all crammed on to one plate that really didn’t afford you much room to work with while cutting your food. The biscuit came on a small saucer . Everything was fairly generic.

Decor and Space (12/20) or 60%

Cleanliness(3/5 points)

All the flatware, glassware, and dishware were about as clean as you would expect, nothing extravigant, but nothing gross either.

Theme(4/5 points)

It’s a laid back place, but the art work changes frequently as artist present and sell their works. I like it though, as it really works as a venue for any artist, or anything for that matter. The restaurant is a place of comfort and their take-a-book/leave-a-book policy means you’ll never be bored while you wait, if you have to wait.

Adequate Seating(3/5 points)

There’s plenty of room at the bar to sit, but some of the tables are a bit squished together. Also, there is one random table in the back that I’m sure is there just as an obstical to the waiters/waitresses and to make people coming out of the bathroom feel awkward.

Location(2/5 points)

It’s on Flushing Avenue, but a bit of a walk from the Morgan stop on the L train. It really kind of sneaks up on you when you’re walking toward it.

Bonus(3/5 points)

One point for having apple butter. One point for remembering that I like biscuits. One point for having a trivia question that wins you free food or drinks.

Overall score: 38/55, with bonus 41/55, or 74.5%

No.7

Restaurant Information:

7 Greene Ave Brooklyn, NY 11238(718) 522-6370
Get Directions

no7restaurant.com

Map:

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Service (17/20) or 85%

Hostess(4/5 points)

She didn’t seat me—I chose to sit right at the bar—but what she did do was deter two obviously crazy people from pestering the patrons. One of the crazy people was an approximately sixty year old woman that stood next to me looking at my meal asking “That looks nice, what is it?” Creepy, really creepy.

Promptness(4/5 points)

It wasn’t a busy point of the day but the food did come incredibly fast. I think I was half way through my first cup of coffee when my food was delivered. Everything else was just as I would expect otherwise.

Alertness(4/5 points)

Every time my beer, coffee, or water got to the half way mark I was asked if I wanted more. This was carried out for all of the patrons that I observed.

Friendliness(5/5 points)

It was slow and every one I spoke with that worked there were quite friendly. I can easily see why people come back to this place again and again. This was bumped up to a 5 by the combination of the waitstaff and the hostess’ handling of the two clearly crazy people that walked in while I was there dining.

Food and Drink (16/20) or 80%

Price(3/5 points)

I feel like I got exactly what I paid for here.

Quality of Food(5/5 points)

I think the omelette might have been the best I’ve ever had. The eggs were fluffy. The ham was of the highest quality. The cheese was melted just right. The greens balanced it all out perfectly so it wasn’t too greasy as most omelettes tend to be.

Quality of Beverage(4/5 points)

The coffee was excellent, but what bumped this up to a 4 was the beer I had. They keep mainly local micro-brews on tap and I got the chance to try a rye based beer which was surprisingly good, not too hoppy, but not too sweet either. It really complimented the omelette well.

Presentation(4/5 points)

The omelette was presented on a lovely white modern dish with far more than enough space for you to move around your food as needed. The extra garnish and decoration to the omelette is what bumped this one up to a 4.

Decor and Space (16/20) or 80%

Cleanliness(4/5 points)

Everything that was served to me was quite clean and I was particularly impressed with the shine on the dish my omelette was served. The bar itself was also quite clean.

Theme(4/5 points)

It’s clearly got a very new restaurant feel but with hints of vintage that welcome you. It’s comfortable and inviting. I think the door signs, the sign behind the bar, and the high windows in the back room are what stand out in my mind the most.

Adequate Seating(5/5 points)

The seating is divided into two main sections: a small room with a large bar and the much larger formal seating area in the back. I sat at the bar where most of the other patrons at that time were sitting, but there were far more than enough tables for people to sit in should they choose to do so. I don’t think any one could ever be cramped in a place like this.

Location(3/5 points)

You can get to this restaurant from several trains with the closest probably being the C. I’d say it’s about the right distance from most of the stations but a bit of a walk from others.

Bonus(2/5 points)

One point was awarded for the fact that they make their own hot sauce in house, which is quite tasty, but not too hot. One point was also awarded because my cousin-in-law works there so I know it’s cool.

Overall score: 49/60, with bonus 51/60, or 85%

An introduction to the blog

Why did you start this blog?

In January of 2009, my favorite brunch location closed its doors forever; it was the unfortunate end of a twelve year run for the restaurant and a new beginning for me. I put off starting my journey to find the perfect brunch location and instead brunched at various places nearby where I lived. I soon grew tired and unimpressed. Now, with this blog, I start my quest. I live in a city obsessed with brunching and brunch culture, but I’ve yet to find a solid replacement for the restaurant I loved and lost.

Aren’t there other sites like yelp, city search, and zagat that do essentially what you are doing?

Well, yes and no. Most of those sites and others break their reviews in to fairly simple elements and don’t really delve into their reasoning for what the metrics they use are and why they were rated the way they are. Also, sites like yelp, though helpful at finding popular locations, can’t really be trusted for completely accurate data because one person that gives a place three stars could be another person’s two stars, and how different is a three versus three and a half star place? You don’t know because it’s just one giant popularity contest.

What qualifies me to review food? What separates me from other people?

I love food. No, let me say that again: I love food. As many of you know, there is a direct correlation between your sense of smell and your sense of taste. Before I was sixteen, my nose was completely nonfunctional. Imagine living sixteen years with one set of tastes then having a door to a whole new world of flavor open up for you. That’s exactly what happened to me. I’m hyper-sensitive to smell—Macy’s perfume department makes me sick—and with that comes a more sensitive palate. I don’t savor moments of flavor, I bask in them.

Will I let restaurants know I’m coming or alert them to the fact I’m reviewing them while I’m there?

No, absolutely not. I want my experience to mirror exactly what you would expect to get if you were to walk in right behind me. I feel that if you alert the restaurant or let them know you’re reviewing them while you’re there you run the risk of them trying to go out of their way to impress you and thus taint the experience.

What are my metrics?

Good question and here they are:

Service

Hostess(5 points) (optional)

I realize not all locations have hostesses but they do play a part in your dining experience. They’re the first person you see at a restaurant and generally your first impression as well.

Promptness(5 points)

Are my requests met in a timely manner? Does the waiter/waitress meet me shortly after I’m seated?

Alertness(5 points)

Is the waiter/waitress checking up on her customers or does he/she seem to be unconcerned? Do my water and coffee get refilled when they start to get low?

Friendliness(5 points)

How nice are the people that I interact with while in the restaurant?

Food and Drink

Price(5 points)

Is the price fair? Do I feel like I’m getting enough for what I paid or are they overcharging?

Quality of Food(5 points)

How does it taste? Have I had better? Could it be better? Is it cooked well enough? Is it cooked too much? If I specified cooking directions were they followed?

Quality of Beverage(5 points)

Same idea as above, but for coffee, water, and other beverages.

Presentation(5 points)

How does the food look when it arrives at the table? Is it all slopped onto a plate or is it arranged neatly and nicely?

Decor and Space

Cleanliness(5 points)

Does all the flatware, dishware, napkins, and glassware look clean? Are there spots or food bits on anything?

Theme(5 points)

Does is seem like there is a constant theme to the restaurant decor or is it a giant mess of things here and there?

Adequate Seating(5 points)

Can I sit comfortably in my seat or am I jammed in like a sardine in a can? Does it look like they’re using their space well?

Location(5 points)

Is it easy to get to or is it hard to find? Is it clearly marked? What trains do I take to get there and how far from the station is it?

Bonus(5 points)

Up to five points based on something that I find interesting or particularly rewarding that can’t really be accounted for in the other sections, i.e. they make their own hot sauce, or the guacamole was made in front of me, and so on and so forth.

All metrics are added together and averaged both in individual catagories and cumulative. Bonus points are added to the cumulative only.

What’s my ideal brunch?

The honest answer is that it varies from restaurant to restaurant. I like a balance between sweet, salty, and savory. I don’t believe that sour or bitter tastes have any place in a brunch, but that doesn’t mean I’m not open to trying something with said flavors. What do I mean by sweet, salty, and savory? Think pancakes, bacon, eggs with coffee and maybe juice or some other beverage. The problem with going too sweet is that you’ll get a carbohydrate crash. The problem with eating too much protein is that you end up feeling lethargic and heavy. The problem with going too salty is that you spend all your time drinking water to rehydrate yourself instead of eating. Like I said, I seek balance in the three.

Can you suggest locations to me?

Absolutely. Just leave me a comment telling me where you think I should visit and I’ll put it on my list of places to try.