Arlo & Esme

Restaurant Information:

42 E 1st St

New York, NY 10003-9345

(212) 777-5617

http://arloandesme.com/

Map:

View Larger Map

Service (10/15) or 67%

  • Hostess(N/A)
There really isn’t a hostess, nor are you really designated a waiter or waitress.  They just kind of hover between working behind the bar and waiting on you.
  • Promptness(3/5 points)
They were very good at getting us seated—there was no one there—and at getting our drinks back to us.  However, our food took a while to get there so they end up settles in the middle.  I really think the people working there were more interested in the guys they were dating or what happened last night or, well you get the drift.
  • Alertness(5/5 points)
They filled up my coffee and water like there was no tomorrow.  I really was surprised at how good they were at it.
  • Friendliness(2/5 points)
I wanted to give this a one because the waitresses/bartenders were talking about how a regular comes in, just hangs out/reads/eats/drinks, and they find it creepy.  There is no place in service for talking bad about your regulars while you’re on the job and in ear shot of other customers.  Besides that, they were pretty friendly; I just couldn’t get over that initial bad impression though.


Food and Drink (14/20) or 70%

  • Price(5/5 points)
This place is cheap, really cheap.  The two of us ate brunch for $30 including tip.  There is a trade off to all of this though.
  • Quality of Food(2/5 points)
The food was decent.  I had the French toast with caramelized bananas on top which was tasty, but didn’t really do much more than what was stated.  My guest had the eggs scramble with chorizo, which was the better call of the two.  I kind of felt mislead when I looked at the menu: there were seven items including the soup du jour of melon squash and a special of chicken carbonara.  It’s a half-ass attempt at brunch more than anything else.
  • Quality of Beverage(4/5 points)
The coffee was really good.  I’d come back here for coffee.  The orange juice was so so.  I think this is a place really more focused on being a bar than anything else and it shows.
  • Presentation(3/5 points)
I liked that they served both dishes on completely different plates, but past that there really was no extra effort.

Decor and Space (10/20) or 50%

  • Cleanliness(2/5 points)
There were giant clumps of dust on the shelves lining the walls used to light the wall.  The dishes, etc. were all clean as I would expect.  They really didn’t help themselves by sticking to a very white themed room.
  • Theme(3/5 points)
It’s a basic drink, coffee bar kind of place.  This would have gotten a much higher rating but when i went downstairs to the bathroom, I felt like I’d walked into a date rapist’s grotto.  The brunch is only served upstairs, but the stark contrast made me think twice about ever meeting someone here at night.  Also, the upstairs has some photography that decorates the wall nicely; it gave me something to look at while I waited.
  • Adequate Seating(3/5 points)
This place was DEAD at 1pm on Saturday.  The tables were massively spaced out and they could easily fit one or two more tables in there.
  • Location(2/5 points)
I would rate this higher, as it is really easy to get to from the 2nd avenue stop, but you have to pass Prune and Joe Doe before you get to this place.  I can see it being a great place to bring a drink date, but other than that there are better brunch places in the area.

Bonus(5 points)

None.

Total score 34/55,  or 62%

Egg

Restaurant Information:

135 N 5th St # A

Brooklyn, NY 11211-3214

(718) 302-5151

pigandegg.com

Map:
View Larger Map

Service 13/20 or 65%

  • Hostess(4/5 points)
I was impressed by her, I really was.  She was friendly, you knew where you stood in line, and she gave an accurate time estimate for our wait.  She also was very respectful when she asked us if it would be okay for us to split a table with another group of two.
  • Promptness(2/5 points)
Do not come here expecting to get seated right away because it’s just not going to happen.  We were told a forty five minute wait and that’s exactly what it was.  We headed around the corner to a bar for a beer and chit chat before coming back to the restaurant; I suggest you do the same.  The wait for our food was short, but chasing down a waiter to pay the bill was a bit trickier.  They took our dishes right at the perfect moment when both my friend and I had finished our meals.
  • Alertness(3/5 points)
I’d say they were about average when identifying our needs.  I do, however, feel that a lot of their responsibility was shirked off to us due to The Water Bottle Problem compounded by the individual French presses our coffee came in when served.  I couldn’t give them a higher rating because of those issues.
  • Friendliness(4/5 points)
Every one we interacted with were quite friendly.  You got the feeling that the people that worked there really cared about making their little restaurant thrive.  Other waiters and staff were happy to stop by and help out when we needed so it felt like we had more than one waiter.


Food and Drink 15/20 or 75%

  • Price(4/5 points)
Considering the high quality of all the food products put into our meals, I want to say this was definitely a deal, especially when compared with some of the other places I’ve reviewed.  I’ll probably go back here and try something else when I get the time.
  • Quality of Food(4/5 points)
The biscuits and gravy were perfect.  They had just the right amount of spice, came out steaming hot, and the biscuits sopped up enough of the gravy for you to not really need a spoon.  The cheese grits I had were as close to the right consistency as you can get with out being there; I don’t know if it was the way the grits were cooked or the cheese that made them a bit too mushy for my taste but I devoured them any way.  My friend’s eggs and bacon were over cooked, which is a bit ironic if you think about it.  Overall the quality of food was very good, but not good enough for five points.
  • Quality of Beverage(4/5 points)
The coffee was exceptionally good, but not amazing.  My friend said her juice was really good as well; I’m sure it was fresh squeezed from their farm or at least with organic oranges.  I also should note that they suffer from The Water Bottle Problem AND your coffee is served in individual French presses.  This meant no refills on coffee and I don’t even think I was asked if I wanted more when I finished my mini-carafe; it was large enough for about one and a half cups of coffee, not nearly enough for me.  Also the French press annoyed me for the same reasons The Water Problem annoyed me.
  • Presentation(3/5 points)
Nothing really impressive here in the presentation.  You got what you ordered and it was arranged in a decent manner on your dish.  Plenty of room on your dish to move things around, so no worries there.

Decor and Space 11/20 or 55%

  • Cleanliness(2/5 points)
I found crumbs on my cheese grits dish.  They either came from the toast of my friend or from somewhere else; I don’t want to know, but minus one point.
  • Theme(3/5 points)
I’m probably being generous giving this a three but everything was very simple and that’s what they were going for in their theme.  There were fresh flowers in a vase on the table.  Also, there was a brochure about their farm and crayons to color on the paper table cloth if you wished to do so.
  • Adequate Seating(2/5 points)
We split a four top table with two girls that had to be the most vapid people I’ve run into in a while—one of  them didn’t know what the word lexicon meant and the other couldn’t explain it.  This place is popular and packed.  I also think it is a converted garage which doesn’t help.  They really probably need a bigger place for the number of people that get packed into here.
  • Location(4/5 points)
A short walk from the L at Bedford and you’re there.  Also, it’s a block off Bedford Avenue so it’s far enough from the foot traffic and cars that it’s not annoying to be there.


Bonus(3/5 points)

One point for having home made biscuits. One point for having cheese grits on the menu.  One point for growing their own materials and using free range chickens.

Total score 39/60, with bonus 42/60 or 70%

Bar Breton

Restaurant Information:

254 5th Ave

New York, NY 10001

(212) 213-4999

chefpiano.com

Map:
View Larger Map

Service 11/20 or 55%

  • Hostess(3/5 points)
The hostess was friendly and promptly sat me at a two person table.  Her service was what I would expect but nothing more.
  • Promptness(3/5 points)
The food didn’t take too long to get to us nor did we wait forever to order.  Everything was about average timing wise.  Alertness was more of an issue, though.
  • Alertness(2/5 points)
The waiter was fairly cognizant of our need for water, which I appreciated, but other than that he was kind of oblivious.  We asked for more milk for our coffee twice and it never got refilled.  Also, we asked for more coffee and each of us got only half a cup.  The next time I asked for coffee I got three fourths of a cup.
  • Friendliness(3/5 points)
The people there seemed to have good intentions just did a poor job of much of anything else.  I don’t really see them as going out of their way for any customer in the near future as our service was barely acceptable when the restaurant wasn’t that busy.


Food and Drink 9/20 or 45%

  • Price(1/5 points)
I was going to give this a two, but then I remembered I was charged six dollars for the bacon that was advertised as being five dollars.  Coffee was three dollars and worth maybe one.  My “french toast” was ridiculously priced at twelve dollars.  I left this place feeling like I was ripped off completely.
  • Quality of Food(2/5 points)
At no time during a brunching experience should I ever think, “I should have just paid five dollars at Dunkin Donuts,” but I did.  My “french toast”—I’m using quotes because no part of it tasted/resembled french toast—really tasted like a icing filled donut.  Also, there was really only one square of it.  My bacon was slim, crumbly, and otherwise unremarkable.  It’s truly sad when the best part of my dish was the fruit that garnished it.  On the other hand, my friend’s Madison galette was a surprising mixture of flavors; I’d order one of their galettes if you find yourself stuck here in the future.  Although I found it odd that a dessert menu was offered, the Nutella crepe was fairly tasty.
  • Quality of Beverage(2/5 points)
The coffee was kind of bad, which I’d normally just write off as having a bad cup.  But then I had another cup and got coffee grounds at the bottom of my cup.  Gross.  It really wasn’t that good.
  • Presentation(4/5 points)
Everything did look quite wonderful when it was presented to us.  However, I think only the Nutella crepe lived up to expectations; the rest was a total wash.  Each piece of our meal was presented on an adequately sized dish, some more decorated than others.

Decor and Space 11/20 or 55%

  • Cleanliness(3/5 points)
All the tables, flatware, dishware, and glassware look as clean as I would expect, nothing out of the ordinary in either direction.
  • Theme(3/5 points)
I can’t really say this place had a theme.  Maybe it was a wine bar, maybe it was a restaurant; I couldn’t tell.  I liked the use of color but not the bench seating.  It really felt like they had two totally different interior designers come in to work on the place: one for the walls and ceilings, etc. and the other for the tables and chairs.
  • Adequate Seating(2/5 points)
I’m 6’5” and my friend is 5’8” yet our knees kept bumping into one another at the incredibly uncomfortable booth we were seated in for our meal.  I think they probably could have lost a table or two and easily made the seating far more enjoyable.  By the end of the meal both of us had just swung our legs out to the aisle and leaned back against the wall as we talked.
  • Location(3/5 points)
It’s a very short walk from the subway in a very odd part of Manhattan.  The neighborhood makes me feel like Chinatown tried to open a second section of town on 28th street, but made it even shadier.


Bonus(5 points)

No bonus points could be awarded.

Total score 31/60 or 51.67%

Gottino

Restaurant Information:

52 Greenwich Ave # B

New York, NY 10011-8309

(212) 633-2590

ilovegottino.com

Map:
View Larger Map

Service (10/20) or 50%

  • Hostess(2/5 points)
I’m not really sure if the woman that I spoke with was the hostess, a woman that was some how involved with the restaurant, or just a customer.  Also, the time estimates were vastly inaccurate.  When I first got there I asked how long it would be to get a table outside and I was told 30 minutes; fair, but what bothered me was I heard the same estimate given out repeatedly even though no one left in the time I was there.
  • Promptness(1/5 points)
I shouldn’t ever have to ask for my coffee twice.  Also, it took near half a hour for our food to be presented.  Our coffees actually got served at the same time our food did which spells major issue in streamlining to me.  The waitstaff clearly had food assignments as well as their regular duties and I think in trying to balance out the two they ended up being sub-par in both which was disappointing.
  • Alertness(3/5 points)
I’d say the wait staff was about as alert as I’d expect, but then again they were right in front of me at the bar so there wasn’t much of a chance for them to miss anything.
  • Friendliness(4/5 points)
Every one I encountered there was quite friendly, almost surprisingly so, considering how mismanaged everything else was service-wise.


Food and Drink (14/20) or 70%

  • Price(2/5 points)
This almost got a one on price, but I decided that the coffee was worth far more than the three dollars I paid for it.  I probably would have paid four dollars for it.  But, the food was way overpriced.  Expect to get about half the portion size of other places.  I’m pretty sure that the dishes were served on saucers or at least small plates, so you get an idea of what I’m talking about here.
  • Quality of Food(5/5 points)
Amazing.  The food was so flavorful.  Clearly the focus of this establishment was the quality of their food and they nailed it.  I had the over easy eggs with bacon, which might be the best bacon I’ve ever had.  It was served with two small slices of bread that proved a bit tricky with the flatware I was using.  Also, the food was incredibly rich.  I wasn’t full when I was done eating, but it sat heavy in my stomach.
  • Quality of Beverage(4/5 points)
This would have gotten a five, but the water was served in essentially shot glasses.  Also, the water bottle problem reared its ugly head here, but in the form of a giant bottle of water that was shared amongst several people at the bar.  The coffee was probably the best cup I’ve had yet.  It was rich, flavorful, with a hint of sweetness and bitterness, i.e. the way coffee should taste.
  • Presentation(3/5 points)
The waiter did an excellent job of presenting our food and drinks, but when I saw the small sized plates I instantly thought, “that’s it?”  The small plates were overflowing and I think that contributed to make it look kind of a mess.

Decor and Space (10/20) or 50%

  • Cleanliness(3/5 points)
The place was as clean as I would expect.  I didn’t notice anything especially clean or dirty.
  • Theme(4/5 points)
It’s a wine bar with a focus on fine food.  Marble bar with wine stacked along one wall make it glaringly obvious what they’re after in their clientele.
  • Adequate Seating(1/5 points)
I’m pretty sure the bar takes up the vast majority of their seating area.  Their indoor seating and outdoor seating looked cramped.  I’m not exactly a fan of them asking us to sit at the bar after misquoting wait times to me.  If you’re going to have that many people sitting at the bar at least give us stools that are comfortable to sit in while we’re there; I felt like I was sitting on a converted school desk.  Also, they could have taken advantage of their large sidewalk space like their neighbors did and fit a few tables there, but they didn’t.
  • Location(2/5 points)
I was going to give this three, as it is about a medium walk from the subway, but it’s located on Greenwich which means 10th Street intersects 4th Street and things get wacky if you’re not careful.  Also, it sits next to a restaurant that looked like it did a better job at seating and pricing items reasonably.

Bonus(5 points)

One point for playing Beethoven the entire time I was there.

Total score 34/60, with bonus 35/60 or 58.33%

Northeast Kingdom

Restaurant Information:

18 Wyckoff AveBrooklyn, NY 11237-2635
Get Directions

(718) 386-3864

- north-eastkingdom.com

Map:
View Larger Map

Service (6/15) or 40%

  • Hostess(N/A)

There was no hostess that I saw.

  • Promptness(2/5 points)

The bartender/waiter took my order but after that he couldn’t be bothered to follow up with anything.

  • Alertness(1/5 points)

On my seventh attempt to flag the bartender/waiter that was not more than two feet away from me, he finally noticed that I wanted something besides my initial order.  I almost threw my fork at him.  Also, this place gives you a giant bottle of water, which I is major pet peeve of mine.

  • Friendliness(3/5 points)
The people were just about as friendly as you’d expect.


Food and Drink (10/20) or 50%

  • Price(3/5 points)

I’d say the prices were fair for what you got.  That being said…

  • Quality of Food(2/5 points)

My french toast was crunchy?!?! CRUNCHY!! @#%$#.  The only thing that stopped this from getting a one point rating was the bacon; the bacon was fantastic and close to the best I’ve ever had.

  • Quality of Beverage(2/5 points)

The water came in a bottle that was filled with tap water and a very small glass.  The coffee was so bad I thought that I had just gotten a bad cup the first time, but no, it was just bad.

  • Presentation(3/5 points)
The french toast looked nice until I cut into it.  Everything else was just kind of slapdashed.  I get the feeling that not a lot of effort is put into anything at this restaurant.

Decor and Space (11/20) or 55%

  • Cleanliness(3/5 points)

Everything looked as clean as you’d expect.

  • Theme(2/5 points)

The theme really threw me: 90% of the restaurant is a campy hunting lodge theme, but tasteful enough not to offend the hipster locals, and the 10% that makes up the wall to the kitchen looks like a bad attempt at Mondrian art.

  • Adequate Seating(3/5 points)
The seats were placed not too close to each other but not too far either.  I saw a waiter squeeze through behind people a few times, but that’s not out of the ordinary.
  • Location(3/5 points)

It’s a short walk from the L stop, so not too bad.  It’s a bit of a trek out this way, especially if the L isn’t running and you have to take a shuttle bus from Lorimer, which will be continuing until August.


Bonus(5 points)

No bonus points could be awarded.

Overall score: 27/55 or 49%

1 of 1
Themed by: Hunson