Arlo & Esme

Restaurant Information:

42 E 1st St

New York, NY 10003-9345

(212) 777-5617

http://arloandesme.com/

Map:

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Service (10/15) or 67%

  • Hostess(N/A)
There really isn’t a hostess, nor are you really designated a waiter or waitress.  They just kind of hover between working behind the bar and waiting on you.
  • Promptness(3/5 points)
They were very good at getting us seated—there was no one there—and at getting our drinks back to us.  However, our food took a while to get there so they end up settles in the middle.  I really think the people working there were more interested in the guys they were dating or what happened last night or, well you get the drift.
  • Alertness(5/5 points)
They filled up my coffee and water like there was no tomorrow.  I really was surprised at how good they were at it.
  • Friendliness(2/5 points)
I wanted to give this a one because the waitresses/bartenders were talking about how a regular comes in, just hangs out/reads/eats/drinks, and they find it creepy.  There is no place in service for talking bad about your regulars while you’re on the job and in ear shot of other customers.  Besides that, they were pretty friendly; I just couldn’t get over that initial bad impression though.


Food and Drink (14/20) or 70%

  • Price(5/5 points)
This place is cheap, really cheap.  The two of us ate brunch for $30 including tip.  There is a trade off to all of this though.
  • Quality of Food(2/5 points)
The food was decent.  I had the French toast with caramelized bananas on top which was tasty, but didn’t really do much more than what was stated.  My guest had the eggs scramble with chorizo, which was the better call of the two.  I kind of felt mislead when I looked at the menu: there were seven items including the soup du jour of melon squash and a special of chicken carbonara.  It’s a half-ass attempt at brunch more than anything else.
  • Quality of Beverage(4/5 points)
The coffee was really good.  I’d come back here for coffee.  The orange juice was so so.  I think this is a place really more focused on being a bar than anything else and it shows.
  • Presentation(3/5 points)
I liked that they served both dishes on completely different plates, but past that there really was no extra effort.

Decor and Space (10/20) or 50%

  • Cleanliness(2/5 points)
There were giant clumps of dust on the shelves lining the walls used to light the wall.  The dishes, etc. were all clean as I would expect.  They really didn’t help themselves by sticking to a very white themed room.
  • Theme(3/5 points)
It’s a basic drink, coffee bar kind of place.  This would have gotten a much higher rating but when i went downstairs to the bathroom, I felt like I’d walked into a date rapist’s grotto.  The brunch is only served upstairs, but the stark contrast made me think twice about ever meeting someone here at night.  Also, the upstairs has some photography that decorates the wall nicely; it gave me something to look at while I waited.
  • Adequate Seating(3/5 points)
This place was DEAD at 1pm on Saturday.  The tables were massively spaced out and they could easily fit one or two more tables in there.
  • Location(2/5 points)
I would rate this higher, as it is really easy to get to from the 2nd avenue stop, but you have to pass Prune and Joe Doe before you get to this place.  I can see it being a great place to bring a drink date, but other than that there are better brunch places in the area.

Bonus(5 points)

None.

Total score 34/55,  or 62%

Joe Doe

Restaurant Information:

45 East 1st Street New York, NY 10003-9320
Get Directions

(212) 780-0262

chefjoedoe.com

Map:
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Service 11/15 or 73.33%

  • Hostess(N/A)
There isn’t one and there wouldn’t be room for one.
  • Promptness(4/5 points)
After arriving, we were seated immediately and handed menus.  We were then asked what we would like to drink and when our waiter returned with our drinks a few moments later, our orders were taken.  Before I knew it, our food was served.  This would have gotten a five, but I had to ask for a refill on my coffee and water twice.
  • Alertness(3/5 points)
I would say the alertness was about what I expect.  I think my waiter was a little out of sorts that day or was just having a bit of trouble with the table next to us that wanted to split the bill in some ungodly manner.
  • Friendliness(4/5 points)
I’ve been to this place twice now and the first time I would say it scored a five and the second time a three.  The owner/chef was beyond kind when we talked to him.  This score is really a four leaning hard to a five.


Food and Drink 19/20 or 95%

  • Price(4/5 points)
I think the prices are really fair here and you get some great food for what you pay for when you dine here.  The downside is that this is clearly a place that is run by a chef that has to charge you slightly more than you would at some other place that’s very corporate and doesn’t care half as much about their ingredients.
  • Quality of Food(5/5 points)
You are not going to find better quality of food anywhere.  More creative, possibly, larger portions, maybe, but not higher quality.  Every meal is served with fresh biscuits and butter.  I had an egg chorizo scramble with avocado and various vegetables.  The menu has a few standard dishes, but for the most part it changes regularly as the chef sees fit.  Also, there will be meats and cheese of the day on special.  I’d also offer the caveat that if you don’t know what something is, ask.  There are some applications of meats that you wouldn’t normally eat or be offered for brunch, but it’s good to know what you’re getting into before you start the adventure.
  • Quality of Beverage(5/5 points)
I had to cut myself off after the third cup of coffee—it’s that good.  Water was served as it should be and the glasses were neither too big, nor too small.  They also have a selection of microbrew beers on tap that just make me drool looking at the list.  I haven’t sampled any of the alcoholic beverages, but I’m sure they don’t disappoint.
  • Presentation(5/5 points)
I think I saw at least three different types of plates for different dishes.  When my order came, I looked at it and thought to myself, “this is how every meal should be served.”  We taste with our eyes first, then our nose, then our mouth;  I was half way through the meal before the plate even was placed on the table.

Decor and Space  15/20 or 75%

  • Cleanliness(5/5 points)
This place is spotless.  I’d be amazed if I found a dust bunny anywhere.
  • Theme(5/5 points)
This might be my new brunch location.  The interior is almost all wood.  What isn’t wood, is used for cooking or making drinks, or there for decorative purposes to make you feel more at home.  If I could put a bed in the corner and my clothes in a closet, I would live at this place.
  • Adequate Seating(2/5 points)
It’s just such a small space.  The place is wonderful when it isn’t packed, but when it’s packed, everyone is in everyone’s way.  I do think they did a great job with the lay out of the seats though.  The space becomes more of an issue in the winter when people take off and put on their coats.
  • Location(3/5 points)
The score would have been higher, as it’s a short walk from the 2nd Avenue subway stop, but on your way to this gem, you pass Prune and several other places where all kinds of brunch chaos is waiting outside.  Let them be foolish and tarry on to your destination.

Bonus(3/5 points)

One point for using specialty foods of local farms.

One point for using ambitious ingredients.

One point for a menu that changes regularly.

Total score 45/55, with bonus 48/55 or 87.27%

Bar Breton

Restaurant Information:

254 5th Ave

New York, NY 10001

(212) 213-4999

chefpiano.com

Map:
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Service 11/20 or 55%

  • Hostess(3/5 points)
The hostess was friendly and promptly sat me at a two person table.  Her service was what I would expect but nothing more.
  • Promptness(3/5 points)
The food didn’t take too long to get to us nor did we wait forever to order.  Everything was about average timing wise.  Alertness was more of an issue, though.
  • Alertness(2/5 points)
The waiter was fairly cognizant of our need for water, which I appreciated, but other than that he was kind of oblivious.  We asked for more milk for our coffee twice and it never got refilled.  Also, we asked for more coffee and each of us got only half a cup.  The next time I asked for coffee I got three fourths of a cup.
  • Friendliness(3/5 points)
The people there seemed to have good intentions just did a poor job of much of anything else.  I don’t really see them as going out of their way for any customer in the near future as our service was barely acceptable when the restaurant wasn’t that busy.


Food and Drink 9/20 or 45%

  • Price(1/5 points)
I was going to give this a two, but then I remembered I was charged six dollars for the bacon that was advertised as being five dollars.  Coffee was three dollars and worth maybe one.  My “french toast” was ridiculously priced at twelve dollars.  I left this place feeling like I was ripped off completely.
  • Quality of Food(2/5 points)
At no time during a brunching experience should I ever think, “I should have just paid five dollars at Dunkin Donuts,” but I did.  My “french toast”—I’m using quotes because no part of it tasted/resembled french toast—really tasted like a icing filled donut.  Also, there was really only one square of it.  My bacon was slim, crumbly, and otherwise unremarkable.  It’s truly sad when the best part of my dish was the fruit that garnished it.  On the other hand, my friend’s Madison galette was a surprising mixture of flavors; I’d order one of their galettes if you find yourself stuck here in the future.  Although I found it odd that a dessert menu was offered, the Nutella crepe was fairly tasty.
  • Quality of Beverage(2/5 points)
The coffee was kind of bad, which I’d normally just write off as having a bad cup.  But then I had another cup and got coffee grounds at the bottom of my cup.  Gross.  It really wasn’t that good.
  • Presentation(4/5 points)
Everything did look quite wonderful when it was presented to us.  However, I think only the Nutella crepe lived up to expectations; the rest was a total wash.  Each piece of our meal was presented on an adequately sized dish, some more decorated than others.

Decor and Space 11/20 or 55%

  • Cleanliness(3/5 points)
All the tables, flatware, dishware, and glassware look as clean as I would expect, nothing out of the ordinary in either direction.
  • Theme(3/5 points)
I can’t really say this place had a theme.  Maybe it was a wine bar, maybe it was a restaurant; I couldn’t tell.  I liked the use of color but not the bench seating.  It really felt like they had two totally different interior designers come in to work on the place: one for the walls and ceilings, etc. and the other for the tables and chairs.
  • Adequate Seating(2/5 points)
I’m 6’5” and my friend is 5’8” yet our knees kept bumping into one another at the incredibly uncomfortable booth we were seated in for our meal.  I think they probably could have lost a table or two and easily made the seating far more enjoyable.  By the end of the meal both of us had just swung our legs out to the aisle and leaned back against the wall as we talked.
  • Location(3/5 points)
It’s a very short walk from the subway in a very odd part of Manhattan.  The neighborhood makes me feel like Chinatown tried to open a second section of town on 28th street, but made it even shadier.


Bonus(5 points)

No bonus points could be awarded.

Total score 31/60 or 51.67%

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